Victoria E Garrard

I was driving in my car after what seemed like a never-ending, back-aching, and immeasurably emotional, shift at work.  A song I had never heard before began to play on the radio called “Someone new” by the young, singer-songwriter, Hozier.  For the length of this two and a half minute song I found myself holding back tears, feeling frustrated and sad, but also smiling, all in the same moment.  This is what nursing does to me.  It brings to light my every human emotion and with that, allows for me to wholly care for others.  In Hozier’s words, nursing makes me “fall in love just a little, oh a little bit every day with someone new.”  Nursing redefines what the act of loving means.  Despite differences in education, personality, upbringing, lifestyle, and culture, I have learned how to love all of my patients in so many different ways.  I have also learned that every person has his/her own way of expressing love and appreciation for others.  I have been told these ways are sometimes called love languages.  I used to believe there would be patients I would not be able to give my 100 percent to with regards to caring, such as drug abusers, those who seemed unappreciative or lazy, among others (as humans our inaccurate presumptions can be infinite if we allow).  However, nursing has again proven me entirely wrong.  Nursing makes me want to burst into tears after twelve grueling hours of trying to please four patients and their infinite visitors.  It makes me frustrated when I think about the readmitted patients who are without resources or support to heal outside of the hospital setting.  Nursing makes me amazingly sad when I hear a patient, whom I had provided cared for months, passes away.  Still, nursing makes me ecstatic when a patient has the willpower to ask me to go for a walk, when a patient presents me with homemade tea from his wife because he thinks I am his “best nurse yet”, or, when a patient looks me straight in the eyes and simply says “thank you so much for all you have done for me today.”  For me, it is the later moments that outshine all others and define my profession and I am ever-grateful to the Robert Wood Johnson NCIN scholarship for allowing me this opportunity.  Nursing makes me love harder than I ever have loved before.  I would bet my next paycheck that many of you too, even if just a little, fall in love, every day, in your own way.

 “Someone new”, Hozier : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ax3qCW319nk